Forget me not
by AyuMiharu
Summary: Germany has weird dreams about a little girl in a green dress. It reminds him of a person who is very dear to him. But he just can't get who... Will he remember what he has lost once?
1. Chapter 1

**New Story!**

**I hope you like it and don't blame me on the the grammar, it's all my Betas (_werpires)_ fault!**

**Just kidding, thank you!**

**Pairing: Germany/Italy **

**Disclaimer: I don't own hetalia nor the characters! All belongs to Himaruya Hidekaz!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

It's cold. I could feel the cold air lashing against my skin. All around me are lying dead people. Those people belonged to my country. Why...?

Am I really _that _weak?

War is something horrible. I hear gunshots. The French are coming closer. This is will be my end.

Why must it end like this?

I have to run.

Yes, I have to run. As fast as I can.

My breathe speads up and my feet are hurting.

I don't understand, how can I still run? As a real man I should fight, ...fight for my life, for my people. But I can't. My wounds are too severe. That french bastard inflicted these mortal wounds on my body. He slashed me with his sword. Now I have these deep injuries. I may die.

But...I don't want to die. I want to see her again.

Before I went to the war I had promised her that I will come back, come back to her. Oh Lord, I am the worst.

She had cried because of me. I can't leave her alone. I don't want to.

I was reaching a destroyed wall. It is the only thing what's left from this house. It's a ruin. These people are probably dead.

I don't have any energy left. My body drops against the wall as I try to cover my bleeding wounds with my hands but it was only smearing the red liquid further on my clothes.

I'm loosing too much blood.

I lean my head against the cold wall. Ha, it was so pleasant. The cold bricks.

I have to face it. I will die.

Sorry Austria. Sorry Hungary. I really enjoyed the time with you. I really liked the house, the people.

I will miss the time, I will miss you. You were a kind family. You were _my_ family...

Brother, I tried to make you proud. I just wanted you to say that I'm your heroic little brother.

How silly...

You already said that you love me and accepted me as you brother but I wanted more. Too much.

It just wasn't enough.

But why? What for?

Why had this war to start?

Why was it the French? Always the French...

I hope that in another life, if I was reborn...we may be friends.

No war anymore.

And not only he, but all the other nations should be friends...but that's silly, this will never happen.

But...if only one...yes, she...she might can...

I'm the worst.

I couldn't even tell her how much I love her.

I will always love her.

In this life and in the next.

I could never forgive myself if something ever happened to her.

Will she cry? Will she miss me?

I couldn't see it. I couldn't see how beautiful she would get when she grows up.

Please, let her be happy and live in peace. Let her meet another person who will love her like I did.

No, like I _do _it.

He should be gentle, smart, handsome (but not to much), he should only make her happy, make her laugh. He should fill her heart with love. He should protect her.

How much, how really, truly much I want to be this person.

I love you. I really , really love you, with all my heart.

My body is getting numb. My breath is low.

It's so cold. I have no energy left...

My eyes...my...my eyesight...it get hazy...darker...

I feel dizzy...

My soul...no. There isn't any left.

I can feel my eyes closing.

My weak hands are still covering my wounds.

All around me...all around me it becomes dark...black, cold.

I'm dying. I feel it. But at least I'm happy. I accept it. I can handle darkness, death.

I know she will be alright. She will be happy, she can live in peace. And she will become a beautiful, lovely woman. I know it. I'm just happy that I was able to meet her.

The best thing in my life.

The time with her, was the best time in my life.

She was the light in my darkness. She illuminated my life. She gave me a reason to live.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...no, it's the light to heaven.

Now I'm really dead. There's this light in the distance.

I can hear weak, quiet, soft voices...Angels?

Maybe I will meet my love again...

I love you...Ita...

_**BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP**_

The annoying loud alarm clock woke the blue eyed German.

He was pulled out of his nightmare.

He dreamed that he died.

...now he would die...

He stroke his disheveled hairs with onr hand. His bare body was covered in sweat. He tried to slick back his hair.

He should really stop spending so much time with his brother...they drank too much last night...but this dream...it was too real, too strange...

Austria and Hungary were a part of his dream and even his big brother, this fool.

It was all his fault.

But...there was this girl. Who was that girl? She was the last he saw in his dream.

She was wearing a green maid-dress and a white apron. Her beautiful hazel hair were covered under a white bandana.

And her smile...this beautiful cheerful smile.

He recognized it from somewhere. It remembered it him at someone...but who?

"Oi, Westo~", Prussia shouted standing under the door frame "How long do you plan to sleep,...that's untypical for you...and...did you have a nightmare? Did you sleep bad?" he asked worried.

"It's okay...I am well...is there something you want?" Germany tried to forget his dream.

'It was only a dream' he thought to himself...

* * *

**I hope you liked it!**

**Please review, they make me happy :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey that's the new /second chapter … **

**Sorry that it took so long, I had to write my final exams (QAQ)**

**But I hope you like the story /this chapter … **

**My Italian isn't good 'haha' sorry.**

**And finally thanks to _wodolay_ that you was my beta_, _you are my personal hero ;DD**

_**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia neither the Character.**_

* * *

**Chapter 2.**

"Feliciano! What are you asking?" Romano spat out all of his soda, part of it even came out his nose.

"Fratello are you alright?" Italy asked deranging with a thoughtful face. What had he done wrong this time? It was only a simple question.

"I should ask you that! Are you alright? You …you …!" Romano glared at his younger brother. He was wet and all the areas around him as well. That's all Italy's fault. Even his breakfast was covered with water. It would be all soggy … yummy …. "Little silly fratello. How can you dare it, to-to ask me such silly and … and … you know what I mean … things, you are stupido" "I only ask how you manage to get along so well with Antonio. That's a-" While Italy was repeating confused his question, Romano interrupted him with light reddened cheeks "I don't g-get along with that …Bastardo … so w-well. … Spagna is an idiota and … and second you asked it a bit different … in another way … you know how …" Romano blush got deeper. He looked like a tomato; they could be twins (the tomato and Romano).

"Feli, you are an idiota" "Come mai? ve~" Italy was more confused than earlier. He only wanted to know how his brother did this. Because he liked it to see how the two had fun together and understood each other and enjoyed it, even if Romano denied it … and his feelings. Italy wanted to … No, he needed to know how to do this. To reach his certain person, his special dear one. To reach his feelings and get along with him better than they already did. It wasn't enough. Their friendship wasn't enough for Italy. He wanted to go further, to improve it to something bigger. That was what his feelings, his heart wanted … and so he wanted it, too.

After minutes of awkward silence, Romano picked up the earlier topic "Why do you want to know that?" he asked levelheaded while he was still staring at their dinner table. The surface was still covered with water and Romano didn't touch his soggy breakfast either. What's wrong with him, did his brother hit on a raw nerve? Did he really like Spain so intensely? _… Nooo…_

"Allora … I like … somebody a-and I want to know … how to reach him a-and how …" Italy tried to explain his reason for his request insightfully. Not to get Romano angry. "Waiit-! .. this person is a HE? I thought you are interested in women! … A-and don't say this person is that Potato Bastard" Romano was shocked about the new information. Did Italy forget about his last male love … he was the one whose heart was broken … he was the one who had to suffer … he was the one who said he could never love again. Why Italy, why? …. Romano didn't understand his brother.

"First don't be so rude to Ludwig and second does it matter if he is male?" Italy took offense, _'fratello is so mean'_ Italy thought _'Why does he ask it that way' _Italy knew that his brother acted like ... always, but now he was too mean and too waspish. How could Italy still ask Romano something about this topic? Romano would get mad when he found out that he meant Germany with this 'somebody'. This conversation would lead to nothing.

"Never mind! Forget about that … what I said earlier" Italy stood up from his chair and wanted to leave the room, but he was interrupted by Romano "It is the Potato Bastard, isn't it?" Romano said unemotionally.

"…" Italy didn't respond or turned around to look his older brother in the eyes. He still looked straight to the exit.

"You should know that I warned you. It will go the same way like with _him_. … They are too similar. It is obvious that you will suffer … again. And I think that he is only a replacement … for that other bastardo …" Romano was still calmly and he hushed before he would say something that he would regret in the end.

Italy left irately the house, still not looking back at Romano.

'_Romano is silly, he is an idiota, a big idiota … the biggest idiota ever … he is arrgh … how could he dare it. To say such things'_ Italy thought _'Ludwig isn't a replacement. I like him. Him as person. Him, because he is he. And not for another reason. And it is pure chance that they are similar … are they really similar?'_ Italy had never thought about that. He had never compared them with each other, as well. Actually he had tried to forget his first love. And today was _that_ day. _'I must be damned'_ Why had had to start this silly unnecessary conversation between his brother and him on _this_ day. How could he forget _this_ day? He really truly wanted to forget him and that day and he did it since he was close to Germany, but Romano had had to remind him on this somber day.

Italy thought if he should buy flowers and go to visit him.

_**Meanwhile in Germany:**_

"Oi Westo~" Prussia still annoyed the younger nation "I need help … because Austria, that baby boy Austria, gets on my nerves and so on and he always talks shit and-and … Westo, are you listening? Ludwig?" Prussia asked his little brother "Ahh, did you say something, Gilbert?"

Germany didn't pay attention for a long time now. A very long time.

He had zoned out that's why he could hear his brother. He still had to think about his dream, especially about the girl who had appeared in the last seconds. He thought that he knew her but from where? He couldn't remember to meet her somewhere. When he had never met her how could he know her? She seemed so familiar.

If he could see his dream again maybe he could recognize her. Maybe.

"Westooo~! LUDWIG! DU KLEINES ARSCHGESICHT!" Prussia yelled after Germany. He wanted attention.

"Was?" Germany replied.

"Kesesese~. Now I know. You are responsive to _Arschgesicht_. Now I will always call you that. Arschgesicht. Kleines Arschgesicht. Kesesesesese~." Prussia enjoyed making fun of Germany. He felt like a winner.

"Haha. You are so funny. Really funny, Gilbert." Of course Prussia's cheap witticism didn't amuse Germany. "What do you want?"

"Pissnelke. Ahahahaha~. Sorry Westo. It is too funny. Okay … I have already said that I need help … what's the problem, Ludi~ -kesesese-" Prussia jokes get more pitiful.

"Ach, nothing. I had a weird dream tonight. And I can't forget it" Germany told Prussia. How could he explain it to his brother, he would never get the dream, and his thoughts. It was only a dream. He looked to the side with reddened cheeks. Did he really want to talk about this night with his brother?

"Okay Ludi~. Do you want to talk about this dream? No … no … You have to tell me your dream. Kesesese~ it's an order, by your awesome brother. And the Awesome Me will listen to you. Unlike you … ahahaha~" Prussia offered his attention and help.

"Okay but don't laugh." Germany accepted his brother's offer.

"Jaja. Of course." Prussia wanted that Germany told him his story.

"Okay, then I will start. Last night, well this night I dreamed that I was dying …

. It was war. And I fought against the French. And I don't know it was strange …" "Moment. You dreamed how you died, that's nichts special. Everyone dreams … that." Prussia interrupted his little brother. "Em ja aber, it was different. It felt so real and it was a different perspective. I dreamed … I felt as if I was smaller. Something like that. And you were in my dream and Hungary and Austria as well. And a girl I have never met before and I don't know it was weird and …"

"Wait! You died? You saw us? And a girl? Had this girl wore a maid dress with apron?" Prussia got more and more tense. His blazing red eyes narrowed. How could this happen? That's impossible. Prussia couldn't understand.

Germany continued "Ja, that's right. How do you know what she wore in my dream? Moment, it was a green dress and a white apron. But why do you want it to know? Is that important what she wears? Do you know her?" Germany asked prying, interested to know more about Prussia's knowledge and probably more about his dream.

"Maybe, I don't know" Prussia couldn't explain and tell him about his knowledge. It was against the arrangement.

"mh. Okay never mind. It was only a dream. It is imagination that I know her." Germany said to Prussia but he more said this to himself.

"Yes, you're right …em okay" Prussia looked at the calendar and his eyes widened.

"Moment! Which day is today?"

"What? What's wrong Gilbert?" Germany looked worried at Prussia.

"What day is today?" Prussia asked absent-minded with his look still focused direct at the calendar.

"The sixth of August. Why?" Germany wasn't worried anymore but confused.

"And you said that your dream was today …?" still absent-minded.

"That's what we have talked about moments ago. Gilbert are you really alright?"

Prussia caught his mind again and realizes what he had said. "Oi … ah … Never mind. Ach Gott! It's late. How could I forget the meeting with … Austria … yes we have to talk about …something. So, mein kleiner Bruder, I will leave alone, okay? Tschüss."

Prussia ran out the door and left the house, he really had to discuss something with Austria, something important.

'_What's wrong with him?'_ Germany thought.

Germany left the house as well, to walk through the land. It was sunny, why should he stay home. That would be waste of time.

While he was walking through Franconia in the direction to the south, he thought about what Prussia had said.

'_What is so special about the sixth of August?'_ it was a normal summer day. The sun was shining on the German's skin. It was a pleasant and warm feeling. Although it was warm and sunny, cool air blew gently through his hair. He went slowly to the southern areas. Maybe he should visit somebody, Switzerland or Italy. Austria would have enough stress with Prussia.

The landscape was wonderful. The mountains weren't as high as in the southern Bavaria. The most hills were covered with grapevine. He walked through the beautiful lawn. Just a little cloud was at the sapphire blue sky. Under his feet were lush green grasses. The leaves had susurration some mysterious.

What was so special about this day? Why had Prussia the sudden urge to meet Austria? Was it someone's birthday … mh Prussia's was in January, Austria's in October, Hungary's … mhh… June. Switzerland's was in August but his birthday was five days ago. He couldn't remember that somebody had his birthday in August. Nobody, who was close to him or to Prussia. Maybe today was another event … like a … an obit …

His bright blue eyes caught the young man kneeling in front a gravestone. The wind was breezing through the man's hazel hairs.

'… _Italy?'_

* * *

**Italian:**

Spagna = Spain

Come mai? = How come?

Allora = Well then

Idiota = Idiot

Bastardo = Bastard

Fratello = Brother

**German:**

Du = you

Klein(es) = litte/small

Arschgesicht = butthead

Jaja = yeah yeah / jaja means also _Leck mich am Arsch = Kiss my ass_

Nichts = nothing

Ja = yes

Aber = but

Em = well

Moment! = Wait!

Mein kleiner Bruder = my little brother

Ach Gott! = Oh God!

Tschüss = Bye

**I know it's a long translation and maybe you know some of the words, but I thought it is better when I translated more than not enough.**

**I hope you liked it! (Please review)**


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N:_**_ **Hey amigos, here is the third chapter**. I really like to write the story. there will be many typos and grammar mistakes (I think so) ;D but I my **beta wodolay **__correct them for me. Thanks thanks... I love youuu ... as a friend of course :D  
_

_the last weeks I had to do much important stuff for my further education / life._

_I will try to upload faster in the future, but when I don't; it doesn't mean that I quit the story. I promise I will finish it. But when?, I don't know ...Ahaha (awesome-annoying-Hero-laugh) _

_Okay, lets the story begin. ;D_

_Ahh**. I don't own Hetalia or the countries** … I only live in one … (haha) … if I would … Germany and Italy would be already a married couple; and Romano would be mine (kesesese)_

* * *

_**Chapter 03.**_

"_Italy!"_

The man who was kneeling in front the grave was Feliciano. The Italian was crying deeply. It was a different crying than usual when he was scared of an enemy or when he hurt himself. This sobbing was different, it had emotional tears. He really suffered emotionally. He wept bitter tears. Germany didn't know this side of his friend. He only knew the pasta-loving, happy Feli who was scared by enemies and silly little things, and who couldn't tie his shoelaces but this … it only hurt him to see his best friend suffer. His bitter tears rolled down his cheeks and they didn't want to stop. His now reddened amber colored eyes refused to dry, still wet , broke the German's heart.

The taller nation didn't know the background of the Italian's suffering. It didn't really matter. He only wanted that his friend smiled again. Italy should rather smile happily and jumping around the world and annoy everyone, but still brought a big smile on everybody's face plus a big warm light in their hearts.

Who was that person who made Italy cry?

Were they human or were they a deceased nation?

In which relation had they been?

It broke his heart to see him like this. Crouching on the ground, sobbing in front a gravestone.

'_Feliciano, please, smile._

_You have to smile again. Please. For me.'_

The German knew that he shouldn't see his friend like this. It was private. A side of Italy which he had never shown Germany before. Why should he see it now?

However he couldn't move. He had the urge to help him, to be there for him. The blond nation wanted to comfort him; but how? He didn't have many experiences in this. But… he could only look at his friend. Not move. Neither back nor to Italy's.

Feliciano whispered something. Although Germany was far away and Italy spoke really quiet, the German knew that his friend spoke in Italian and he had this feeling that he would say something like _Why had you left me?_ or _I miss you_ and so on.

It was enough. He shouldn't see or hear that. He should really move. He went into another direction. He should visit a neighbor or go home. But … _'Why has it to be him?_' Germany thought, his view down on the ground _'he is so happy all the time.'_

He couldn't stay anymore, he HAD TO leave. All the more if he didn't know how he should act or if he might not be allowed seeing his friend in this condition.

The taller man turned away and started to leave the smaller one as he stepped directly on a branch. _Of course_ this made a noise which _of course_ was heard by Italy. Visceral the blonde one turned around back to Italy. The two looked straight in each other's eyes. Ludwig's aquamarine orbs met the golden from Feliciano. Although they were red and wet and covered with lots of tears, they still shined like little jewels.

The smaller nation's eyes widened immediately, he looked like as if he just saw a ghost.

'_Scheiße!'_ What had he done? He interrupted Italy and now he didn't know how the Italian would react nor if he would hate him now. What should he do?

The two stared at each other.

Some awkward moment pasted and the two nations still looked into each other's eyes.

Suddenly Italy jumped at his feet and ran straight into Germany's arms. He embraced the blond one with both arms and squeezed him with all his power. The smaller buried his face into the taller one's shirt. He loved the heat which came from _him_. The smell and the feeling of _him_ as well. How he missed _him_.

The Italian didn't want any more space between them he wanted to feel _him_ only _him_.

He could hear _his_ heartbeat.

He could smell _him_

He could hear _his _breath.

He loved _his_ heat.

The good and pleasing feeling he got when _he_ was with him.

… he still sobbed in _his_ shirt.

He missed _him_. It was a dream, wasn't it?

"Feliciano? Are you alright?"

_His_ voice was wonderful. He loved it how _he_ said his name. _His_ voice was as manly and lovely as Ludwig's … Lu-udwig's? Lu-u-d-

Italy titled his head and stared straight into the bright blue eyes which belonged to the German …to GERMANY!. …

'_MERDA!'_ How could he … how?

'_Oh. My. God! …'_ Italy buried himself more in Germany's chest. He grabbed the fabric of the German's shirt.

'_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.'_ Was Romano right? Did he replace him? How could he interchange them?

"Feliciano? Feli? It's okay. If you need somebody to talk …you can … I will listen to you …?" The taller nation smiled at him.

"… okay …D-do you want … can I … can I go to you- r … home?" He could barely speak. "Yes, if you want." Germany replied softly.

The German still looked worried at the Italian.

- *3* -

* * *

_**At Germany's house:**_

"Do you want something to eat ... or to drink?" Ludwig asked Feliciano with still the same caring expression on his handsome face. "Feli?..."

"Ah- did you say something?" Italy woke from his thoughts however still distracted.

That was how Prussia had felt this morning. Speaking to a non-mental-present person.

"Feliciano! Whose grave was it?" Germany asked still soft and quiet, so untypical for his loud and sharp German voice_ (A/N: even German can speak nice and friendly and softly!)_

"…" Italy didn't reply he couldn't. How should he tell the man who he loved that this was the grave of his first love? It would be awkward.

"Em … You don't have to talk … I'll bring you some Kuchen _(cake)_" The German went out the big living room into the kitchen.

Italy was still sad. There still wasn't a smile on his face. He wanted to help his friend. He wanted that the shorter nation would smile again. What bothered Italy? How could Germany bring back the smile in his usually happy face?

Germany didn't get this man. He was so different and difficult. The most thought that Italy was only happy, cheerful and annoying; some thought that he was also weird. Nevertheless everyone loved him but still nobody wanted to be his best friend and play his babysitter except him. For Germany Italy wasn't only an ally, he was his friend, his best friend. But sometimes there was something different … some weird feelings …

"Ach Italien, how can I bring his smile back?" The German said to himself concerned.

The blonde tall man came back into the big living room with a cake and coffee and a latte macchiato for his beloved Italian. The slim man sat on the black leather couch. Germany put down the cake and the drinks on the coffee table.

"Hier Feliciano." Germany sat down beside Italy while he laid aside the pillows.

"Awwwh~! Ludwig" The German startled by the odd noise which he didn't expect.

"Thank you~ …" His big cheerful smile was back while he thanked his friend. He loved it when Germany made or tried to make something what the Italian favored like the Latte or Gelato. It was too cute and adorable. Of course the Italian could make these dishes better but he loved how the German flushed when he gave it to him. This made Italy even happier …_ 'He is sooo~ cute~ when he flushes'_ Italy smirked and sipped a bit from his Latte Macchiato. It was yummy for a not Italian one.

He leaned his head against Germany's shoulder.

"I like you" Italy whispered barely audible and closed his eyes. He only wanted to forget about the occurrences from this afternoon. He wanted to forget about _him_. He wanted only to hear and feel Ludwig. He was there now and the Italian wanted to enjoy that. Germany was so comfortable.

Italy slowed his breath and it became steadier. He could feel the taller ones heat, he could feel him. Italy loved it. He loved him.

He laid his head at the German's chest. He didn't know how the German looked or felt or what he thought. It was minor for him at the moment.

Germany was glad that the smaller nation didn't see his face; his face which had a dark shade of red.

Italy could now hear Germany's heartbeat. It wasn't steady._ 'How cute~. Like his heart become unsteady for me. Like it beat for me-e._' Italy abruptly opened his eyes. _'FOR ME?' _he looked them red-colored German into his blue orbs. The blonde faced away his head.

'_Why is he so adorable with his flustered __expression?'_ The blushing German thought biting his lower lip. _'Have I feelings for him?'_

'_Has he feelings for me?'_ Italy thought the same with a dazed expression and flushed immediately.

Nevertheless Italy realized that he might slip the ambience. There probably wasn't any feelings at the German's side.

"Ah … Feli, you made this noise … and I-I … you have some crumbs in your hair …and …-"

Germany took the lonely piece out the Italian's hair.

'_This. Was. The. Reason.! This was the reason for the flush … how disappointing.' _

"Merda" Italy hissed.

"Is everything alright?" Germany asked confused.

'_OF COURSE NOT, STUPIDO!' _

It was too obvious that Ludwig wouldn't act like that only because of him. Italy should have known that it had to be something silly, minor that embarrassed the German.

It was obvious that he wouldn't feel like him … how disappointing.

How he hated the fact that he wasn't the trigger. Why?

But he couldn't, he loved the way his beloved Germany became red for little silly things. And he loved it … he loved him,

… The way _they _blushed were also similar … why did he remember him at _him. _Why?

-*3*-

* * *

"Do you want to stay?" Ludwig offered Italy. They have forgotten the time and it was already dark outside. Germany didn't want Feliciano walking home in his current condition.

The hazel haired nodded and went together with the blonde in the guest room. Italy turned around and asked shyly "Can I rather sleep in your bed … with you – Ludi~"

How adorable. _'Of course' _the taller man thought while his cheeks were blushing with every second more and more.

"Yes t-this time b-but it i-is an exception. Not it this will be a (routine/ordinary)."

His already red cheeks got a darker shape.

'_How adorable' _Italy thought giggled.

"But - … - " Germany objected. "Y-you have to wear underwear or a pajama." He ordered still quite and shyly.

How he hated this topic.

"Sì capitano. Hehe. Ludi~ is so cute when he blushes." Italy quipped with a huge smile and kissed him on the already red cheek(s). What worsened the shape … they became redder- _(A/N:_ _How is this even possible? He is already dark red. … MAGIC :D)_

"Stop Italy. That is embarrassing a-and I a-am your friend a-and you shouldn't a-and …"

_**~silence~**_

'_He said __**'Italy'**__. He only calls me so when we are at World Meetings or when he wants to_ _distance him from me._

_How mean!' _One little, barely seeable tear rolled down his left cheek.

"Ve~? But I did that many times before a-and you also already gave me a kiss on my cheeks a-and it is only the cheek there isn't any spe-"

"Put on your sleepwear and get ready for sleep. …it is late."

"Lu-ud-"

_**~silence~**_

"Okay. We will meet us in the bed." Germany said to Italy

"… Do you know … I like you." Italy looked on the ground and tried not to blush and avoid his friend's bright blue eyes. He stormed into the bathroom.

'_Feli…? I will never get you. … and never understand this weird feeling I get when you are around me. …'_

-*3*-

* * *

When both of them were in the bed covered under the blanket.

"Feli … I like you, too." Suddenly Germany muttered to the smaller one.

Italy abruptly opened wide his recently closed eyes.

"Ve~!"

"You are my best friend. I know that I am sometimes rigorous and strict and so on to you but you are still my friend. I am not used to this feelings stuff and so on. …sorry, I should act different because I know that you … because it was a … sad … day. … the whole day was weird … ach Entschuldigung." Ludwig stammered his thought. It was odd, so unused.

"That's all right. It means so much to me that I am your best friend and that you want to help me. You are also my dearest person … in the whole world…" The Italian sputtered his feelings to the German.

"But your brother? A-and-"

"Fratello will leave me one day. I know I am still his brother and he is mine. We are a family and love each other … as brothers. But he has his own life and I should respect his personal choices for his future and let him go when the times comes." Italy said thoughtfully. He didn't look his friend in his bright eyes which followed the Italian delicate features shown his feelings.

"W-Why should he leave you alone?" Germany asked puzzled.

"Antonio" Italy said with a light smile.

"Antonio? … you mean that he-"

"Yes. Lovi loves him. I know it, even if he denies it. I know that it is true."

"Okay Spain was obvious but Romano. I never thought that Romano liked him like that" Germany realized the new news.

"And then you are the only one left b-because Japan has made new friends and Austria and Hungary have each other and they are more like a family to me than friends and … please don't leave me." The Italian whimpered with a puppy face.

"I-I have never planned to." That was unfair the Italian cheated.

"… and Ludwig … a-are we still friends … even if you will meet a nice and beautiful woman … we will still be f-friends, won't we?" Italy couldn't anymore … please he shouldn't find one. It was selfish but Italy wanted him for himself. He should be his. Not for another random woman. _'Of course' _Ludwig thought and flushed _'We will always be friends, I promise.'_

"… Now sleep, Feli."

_**~silence~**_

"Do you know this feeling … when you love someone and they don't love you back?" Italy suddenly interrupted the silence.

"I don't know … why?" Germany whispered.

"And do you know … when you lost your love … when that person is now vanished … dead …" Italy shirked Germany's question and started with a new line of thought.

"I guess … no … b-but" Germany paused for a moment.

"Was it … your love?"

"Eh? Come?"

"The grave …" Germany tried to explain.

"…" This is awkward now. Should he answer or not?

"Okay … you don't have to answer. I-I won't ask you anymore"

- "He was my first love. A childhood love." Italy smiled. "… I know it is creepy that it was a boy and that is might be disgusting but I think it doesn't matter which gender it is. It is more important which person. …"

"Oh! Em … I understand. Me, too. I agree. I think. Probably." Ludwig stumbled flushing.

"Ve~! … I want to sleep. Right now …? Buona notte! Ludwig"

"Okay, dir auch eine gute Nacht Feliciano …" He pushed a light kiss on Italy's bare back. _Of course _the Italian wore only boxers, no pajama.

Both blushed

"Sleep well" Germany voice was so perfect, so deep.

This feeling which caused by his presence was so pleasant.

'_Why did I say that? Why did I ask that? … How silly am I?' _blush _'The first one was you Ludwig … I really love you. … Ti amo, Ludwig'_

-*3*-

* * *

'_He acts weird … the whole day was weird … but maybe … as he asked … I have never thought about it. Maybe I know how he feels … I also lost somebody one time._

… _the girl … I guess … and maybe … Myself …'_

"_Holy Roma~?" The little hazel maiden asks me._

"_What is it, … I-Italy?" I blushed._

"_Why have you left? I thought you wanted to learn how to draw? It is the second time you suddenly left the lesson. Do you really want to learn it?" She is so beautiful. Her hair, her smile. How should I stay by her when I get butterflies in my stomach every single time she touches me? _

_I want to kiss her beautiful pink lips … STOP YOU IDIOT! Oh God! Stop thinking about such reckless thoughts … and embarrassing things. Hihi, Holy Roma~ is cute when he becomes red. Like a tomato." I don't notice that I am flushing._

_..._

_Ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump_

* * *

**_Thank you for reading *3* _**

**_I hope you like it (Reviews are always welcome)_**

**_The next chapter is already written but I have to waite for my beta,  
_**

**_and the following ones have to wait because I have to write the next chapter for my Lovi story and draw a picture for somebody … -_- I hope she won't be mad that it has taken so long … (I. am. a. bastard.)_**

**_there soo many 'have to's  
_**

**_~to be continued~ _**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 04:

_**Feliciano's POV:**_

Ciao, my name is Feliciano Vargas. I am 20 years old. But this is only how I look like. That's only my appearance … actually I am much older.

I am also well known as Italy.

North Italy.

I am not a normal person. I am a country. A nation. It's a kind difficult to explain but I guess that I don't have to explain it to you. I think you already understand it. (the most, I guess)

I like my name. Feliciano is kind of cute, isn't it? As a personification of a nation you also need a human name for the public and might your private life, too. Even if our human names are given to hide our real self, I think it is nicer and more personal to call you by your name and not by your nationname. That's the reason why I call all of my friends (which of course are nations) by their human names.

I have also given some of them nicknames. For example I call my fratello _Lovi~ _instead of_ Lovino; Toni _for _Antonio_ or _Liz _for _Elizabeta._

Other nations which a dear with others have given them also nick-and pet names. For example Antonio calls Lovino _"Mi Tomate". _Lovino calls Antonio _"Tomato Bastard" _(But he calls everyone _Bastard,_ like Alfred is "_Hamburger Bastard", _Gilbert and Ludwig are the _"Potato Bastards", _Arthur is the _"Tea Bastard" _and Francis is the _"Wine Bastard" _and/ or only _"Pervert" _and many other _Bastardi_)

Alfred calls Arthur _"Artie" _or _"Iggy". _Arthur calls Alfred … _git, jerk, wanker, idiot, moron pillock, twonk, … _(no comment).

Francis calls Arthur _"Punk" _or _"eyebrows" _… oh he is called _eyebrows _by almost everyone. Francis is the _frog, wine bastard, pervert, _ah… _Franny _…. WHY ARE ALL THIS NICKNAMES SO MEAN!

Okay, Kiku calls the nations with this -_san_ and -_kun_ stuff. I am, for example, _Ita-kun _or _Ita-chan_. America is _America-san_. As Gilbert has understood the principle he calls himself _Ore-sama_.

But I still don't get it really.

The Nordics call each other _"Brother" _despites Iceland. He refuses to call them _"Big Brother" _especial Norway. Denmark calls Norway _"Norge" _and Norway calls Denmark _"annoying"_. And Sweden calls Finland _his "wife" _but I think the Nordics are kind of creepy. But I like them.

Still … in my opinion _Names _are something … special.

I like it when someone calls me _Feliciano _or _Feli_. Fratello says that he hates his name. (I think he overacts and actually likes his name) he hates the short form of it … _'Lovi~'_, I think it is cute and Antonio, too. But he hates it so much that I am the only one left who is allowed to use it.

The first time he has hated it was as Antonio compared _Lovi _with _Love _and called him all the time _Lovi. _(He still compares it and calls him so)

Lovino doesn't hate his name. He hates that his cheeks turn into a dark sharp of scarlet every time Antonio uses his nickname. (awwwh cute~)

Ludwig doesn't like to use the names so easily like me. For him it is too private to call them all by their human names. He rather prefers it to use their nation names. Only his family and his closest friends are called by their human names. Like _Roderich, Elizabeta, Gilbert, Francis, Antonio, Vash, Lilly _and _I_. But he only calls them so when he speaks directly to them. Otherwise they are _still Austria, Hungary, Prussia_ (but most _Bruder), France, Spain, Switzerland, Lichtenstein _and _Italy_.

It has taken me so long to get him to call me _'Feli' _instead _'Feliciano'. _And I love it how he stresses _'Feli'. _Every time when I call him _'Ludi' _he blushes and I love it. I really really love it.

But nations aren't born with their human names. They get them later. Because the main reason for the human names is to live and work among humans which are not privy.

Romano and Italy got their human names when they became independent. Now they have an own country to rule and they need own names. Yes we need them.

We get the names when we need them.

It is a pity that I could never know _his _name. Sure _he_ had a wonderful name. How much I want to know the human name of the Holy Roman Empire.

-*3*-

* * *

Nations are immortal … some people think so. Some of us are very old like China. I don't really know but I have heard that Yao is over 4000 years old.

Others are very young like Sealand, he is physically only a child. (yes for me he is a nation, I also acknowledge my brother Seborga as a nation)

I am many centuries old and only 20 years old. That's what the human see and what my body is. My mind is much older and I am not the naïve and innocent one that I seem to be.

I went through many wars and I lost many of my people, my solders; but I also lost my family and my first love.

As I already have told, nations seem to be immortal but they can also die. It is hard and takes longer to kill a nation than a human. You can't only stab them to death or shoot them. But during wars, nations lose regions and power … and some of them even vanish.

Grandpa Rome was once a big country; he ruled over almost all of Europe, but then he fell … he died.

The Holy Roman Empire also died. He also wanted to be as big and powerful as Grandpa Rome was. But he lost against big brother France in the Napoleonic wars. He lost his life. It was August 1806 as the message reached me.

My love … the boy who had promised to come back to me … he died.

He would never come back.

He could never come back.

But he had promised.

All the time I thought he was my other part. The one who completed me.

But now …

-*3*-

* * *

~My _madre_ once told me and Romano about _Love_.

All people (if human or Nation) had another one, who was made for them.

Two pieces which belonged together. And the mission of _Love_ for our life was to find this _other part_ of us, she told us.

And the _other part_ wanted to find us too.

It is _Love_.

There's somebody in the big world who was made for me and I was made for them.

It's only the person themselves, their character; and all the other things are minor. They had to make us happy and fill our heart with love, with _amore_. Later big brother Spain told us that our love should also give us passion. (But it was obvious that he said this, he is the country of passion and the country who wants to get into my _fratello's pants_.)

My mother also told us that they should give us friendliness and warmth. This was important, how much they loved us, not how much money or which eye or hair color they have.

She was such a wise woman and mother; and she was so caring, kind, she was the best _mamma_ ever.

She filled our hearts with love and told us how to find our _other part_.

I never asked her this one important question; I was never conceived that this would happen: What is when your _other part _died and you are alone and lost them. Is there another one who is also alone and made for you, or will you be forever alone?

I found _him _my _other part. _The one who I was made for, who was made for me.

But I already lost _him _and now I am alone in the big wide world, with the long life of a nation.

~Japan once told me about _destiny_.

That everything had a reason. Sometimes bad things must happen so that our life changes itself.

That sometimes one has to die that another can move on.

He said that it was for my own sake.

What would have happened if he was still alive? Would I have found my friends? Would I have found my love? Would I still love Ludwig?

If the Holy Roman Empirewas still here the world would look different from ours now; I know this.

I would never have hid myself in a tomato box in WWI.

I would never have started an ally with Germany and would never have become friends with him and Japan.

I would never have lost my heart for him.

To shorten this.

Japan said that the Holy Roman Empire had to die that I could find Ludwig and I could allow letting him into my heart; to love him.

It is rude but _Giappone_ was kind of right.

_Sacro Romano Impero_ disappeared and _Germania_ appeared.

But why had little _Italia_ to suffer?

That worst is that they are so similar.

I have never thought about it, I never saw it until Lovino said it to me. Now I see the similarities;

The way they blush

The way they look when something is unpleasant to them

The way they shyly smile

… is that chance of fate? Or is that all my fault?

~Hungary said that I should love them how I love (I don't know but make that any sense?)

And when I love somebody I should listen to my heart and shouldn't question why I love them.

"_You love them, you heart said you love, get it?" _

But then I asked her why she didn't do the same.

Why didn't she listen to her heart?

First she looked confused then she blushed and looked away. She said that she didn't know what I mean and left the room.

-*3*-

But I know that she loves another man. She was married to Austria. She was happy. She loved him. But she loved another man more. She denies it. They have been friends since childhood. But I see that their friendship was no longer only a friendship. It has grown into something bigger … in love.

And the other man loves her as well.

France once loved a human. Nations have long lives. A human life is nothing in our life. Some decades, and many humans die too soon. She died too soon. She only could live two decades and not really two decades ... 19 years and she died, she was executed. It is a pity, it is so unfair. She was so young and so brave. She loved her country and her country loved her. But it couldn't continue forever. Humans made countries weak and women made men weak.

Spain has fallen in love with a girl he could never get. Her brother hated and still hates Spain. He despises him and had kept a close eye (better we say _two eyes_) of the two. Their love was never allowed. The big brother didn't allow that. And Spain spent a lot of time with her and of course they met each other in secret but he had too much fear of her brother. He didn't want to lose his life and she neither. So they broke up.

America loves a man since he was little. He would never admit that, but it was obvious that the brother-love he was given by the man who raised him wasn't the love he wanted. It took him centuries and many wars. He needed to get independent from him. He needed to get adult to start his own life, to get what he wanted. As another person, as the person he was and not as the man's little brother he could get his heart. As two separate countries and not as brothers. Now they can start a new kind of bond. A bond based of love. (But honestly I think he should change his behavior and they should be nicer to each other.)

Romano has fallen for his boss. Everybody ignored him, nobody loved him; this was what he once said to me with a hateful view as I was the reason for this. I always loved him and _nonno_ and _mamma_ and Seborga and Spain. Especial Spain. _Fratello_ wasn't easy to handle and he has always had a bad temper and a colorful language and he is aggressive. But he has also feelings and wants to be loved. His caretaker loves him. He teased him and Romano hated it (he still does so), but he also took care of him. He read him goodnight stories and gave him goodnight kisses (even when he was headpunched for the kisses); let him sleep in his bed when he was afraid of the dark or a thunder-storm. He treated his wounds and protected him. He played with him, visited the beach and worked at the tomato fields. But when Romano became a grown-up it was different. But their relationship has changed. They have developed passionate feelings for each other. But Romano was too proud to move on and his _migliore amico_ relationship. And his _amico_ doesn't think that his little tomato has already grown up and that he had deep romantic feelings for him.

My other brother Seborga … owwh I think he … l-likes Romano. But I am not sure and maybe I misunderstood something … I hope so.

And there are many others who have their one love problem / stories etc. …

~Veneziano … I am fell in love with my best friend, my _migliore amico_. But my biggest problem is that I am afraid of losing our friendship when I tell him about my true feelings and that he doesn't feel the same way. I don't know if he reciprocates my feelings. He may finds that disgusting. When both are males.

I don't want to lose the friendship and him. I rather keep quiet and don't tell him my real feelings. Maybe one day I take all my courage and confess my feelings to him. Or maybe one day he … maybe?

Maybe (I hope so) he loves me, too.

But the most important is: don't take him away, too.

~Ludwig, stay with me. …. Don't leave me.

-*3*-

* * *

madre = mother (ita)

mamma = mom (ita)

fratello = brother (ita)

amore = love (ita)

ciao = hello (ita)

mi Tomate = my tomato (esp)

bastardi = bastards (ita)

Norge = Norway (den)

Bruder = brother (ger)

Sacro Romano Impero = Holy Roman Empire (ita)

Germania = Germany (ita)

Giappone = Japan (ita)

Italia = Italy (ita)

nonno = Grandfather (ita)

migliore amico = best friend [m] (ita)

amico = friend [m] (ita]

* * *

**-*3*-**

_A/N: I know it sucks *3* your amica (:_

_I hope you can forgive me ... my beta hadn't got time; and she lives in a boarding home (till I finished my final exams I also lived there) and the bastards who rule this dictatorship have disconnected the internet(the INTERNET, it is cruel) and so we can only communicate at the weekend._

_ okay now my fault I was in hospitale untill yesterday.. hehe and now i can continue the story ... but you have to be patient. because it's me ;DD_

**-*3*-**

_arigato_ **you**, for reading

... _grazie_ **wodolay**, for being my beta

... and _danke_ for all **followers** and for all **reviews**

****_(reviews make me happy)_

**~to be continued~**_  
_


End file.
